Rock
Scissors
Fuck
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
