i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
