No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
