I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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