We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
