But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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