32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
