Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
