Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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