pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
