I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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