Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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