she woke up with a sticky ear
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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