I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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