I skipped work to stalk him.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
