Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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