when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
