does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
