he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
