You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
