Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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