All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize