just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
These tits shall not be calmed
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
