I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
