I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
