You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
