those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
