just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
