I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
