I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
