I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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