Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
