I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
