Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
