Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
