I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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