so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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