It's like God shit irony all over that family
sarcasm needs its own font
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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