Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
