I must be too annoying 4 u.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
