I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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