Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
