The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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