i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I have post one night stand depression
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