Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
