Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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