it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
