Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
