I hope mine doesn't look like that
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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