wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Dear god my vagina.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
