mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
