I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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