Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
