I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am