Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.