Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND