i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?